Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Communication Breakdown


So here is the scene in my office today: My assistant, Mrs. S, is out sick. So I am working with Ms. P, whom I have worked with in the past, we have a good relationship. Ms. P is a divorced mother of 3, in her mid 50s, and very nice. So I am coming out of a meeting and Ms. P is talking to someone at the front desk and then makes a comment so I can hear that goes something like this:

“…and then Brandon keeps bugging me for this and that….” (laugh laugh). 

So I say, “Hey, my wife isn’t here for me to bug, so I have to bug somebody.”

To which Ms. P says, “Yea, I have a lot of practice at that. I’m still pretty good at it.”

……………uh…………..uh………….head scratch…………What in the world does that mean?

To which I just nod and say, “Right.” , and then scurry to my office.

My topic today is about inter-communicative oddities. Namely, what to do when someone you are having a conversation with says something that makes absolutely no sense. My immediate reaction is to file a sexual harassment complaint. I mean, times are tough, it’s worth a shot and the kids need summer clothes. Besides, when was the last time you felt like someone insulted you and/or possibly your wife, or maybe insulted the other person in the room she was talking to?  It doesn't matter.  Everyone does it.  She's had a lot of practice at it and she's still pretty good at it.

I guess I could have actually said, "I'm sorry, what did you say?  Could you please explain what you meant when you said......"  But no.  That would be overstepping some social boundary.  I believe it's the same boundary that exists around the "I'm sorry waiter, this isn't what I ordered" territory.

I think my first exposure to this method of communication was when I was about 16 I was standing in my grandmother's driveway.  She and I were talking and her neighbor came outside and shouted something to my grandmother.  She smiled, said, "Yes, yes." and then we turned to go back into her house.  I asked her what her neighbor had said, because I didn't hear it, and my grandmother said she didn't know.

Didn't know?  

I asked, "What if she had just tried to tell you her mother had passed away?  Your response was a smile and 'yes, yes'.  What do you do then."

Older people probably get away with this much more than they should.  I actually think that is how wars are started.  Someone says something like, "Hey, are you harboring terrorists here?"  and the people respond with a smile and "Yes, yes."  What they thought they heard was "Today new barbering therapist's gear."'

"Earn more sessions by sleeving." Or something like that.

Can we all have a word we say when we have something like that happen?  Could there be a code word for the time when you don't understand what the person just said?

Let's use "Jethro".

11 comments:

Jodi said...

Uh, yeah, yeah. Sure.

Deidra said...

Last night at work I ran into a girl I hadn't seen since last week. She said something to the effect of "you're back at work?" or "back for another night?" and I said "yes, how bout you?". It just popped out as I was walking away. I wondered all night if I should have stopped and said, "um, that didn't make sense, sorry." But now she'll just think I am weird. Oh well. I guess we all do it.

joy said...

Brandon,
You are so funny! Say what? When I talk to my dad he says the same thing, yes,yes.. Not knowing what the world I just said. I just play along like yes was the correct answer. Your assistant is in her 50s, what do you expect, we do weird things...
Love, Joy

Jeni said...

Nothing like starting the morning with a good laugh.

Becky W. said...

Dear Abby,

I've actually taken the plunge to ask "What did you just say?" and upon hearing it again I STILL don't understand or didn't hear it well. And sometimes, with courage, I ask AGAIN with my ears pealed. Sometimes I get it and sometimes I don't. Either way I feel somehow the friendship is weakened and I wish I could rewind and just say "Yes, yes" the first time.

Love, Jethro

Jessica said...

Jethro. I'm totally in. My standard reply when I have no clue what was said or what's going on is "uh-huh", which like "yes, yes" can get you into trouble. This way, they'll be the ones who have no idea what's going on. I like it.

JDM said...

I am loving this idea.
I can see myself saying "What the Jethro?!"

I had a friend when I was younger that tried to start using Joey for the word idiot. "You are such a Joey." But it never really caught on. To many Joey's in the world & I doubt any liked the word exchange. So the way I see it Jethro has a real chance. Not many Jethro's at all except Tull or Clampit. And what are they going to do about it?

Jess said...

Does this count for when you don't have any idea what your children are saying and/or you are just in too big of a hurry to sit down and listen? (Not that this EVER happens to me or anything!).... but you know Derick.... lol

Fred M said...

:) Yes, Yes :)

Jethro

meagan said...

When things like that happen to me I try to say something non-sensicle(sp?) back to them like, "yes, I do like chocolate, but I never put it on a sandwich," or "What is up with Grimace, anyway?" And if that doesn't work, I just punch them in the face and run away with arms flailing wildly. If you choose to do that, then you can just yell "Jethro" at the top of your lungs. Oh wait, you might want to do that before the beating.

Anonymous said...

The problem with Jethro is that it sounds like "just throw". Their reply, "Did you say just throw up?.. just throw it out?????? and so on and so on. Hey,
I'm communicating with Nana & Grandpa on a daily basis, I know!!

Shove Mom.... I mean love Mom