Client Golf

Few things can compare to client golf. A place to relax, build a relationship outside of business, work on your game. Get close to nature. Find peace and tranquility.

Sometimes, though, you end up seeing sides of people you never knew existed.

Golf is an incredible game. You can take otherwise calm, refined, smartly-dressed people and by the end of a 2 or 4 hour session they have become hideous ball-babies with bent metal sticks in their trunk. You can have highly educated men who spend thousands each year on new equipment, only to find they are unable to hit it past the lady's tee. Then you have a lanky teenager with a borrowed set of 1970 knock-offs who hit's it 280 off the tee, putts "lights out", and makes you want to run him over with a golf cart.

There are many things to remember when golfing with a client:
1. Never talk business after he/she hits one into the water/hazard/clubhouse/adjacent freeway.
2. Always talk business after he/she gets a better score on a hole than you.

I guess it's pretty simple. But there is also one important thing that is maybe not commonly known amongst golfers who take their clients out: Never let them see you laugh at them.

Take a case in point. A few weeks ago we are out on a 9 hole golf expedition with a client. A brilliant man who has changed the industry in which his profession lies. He's also one heck of a nice guy who loves golf. I'd like to think we have a lot in common. We pick a beautiful day with little wind, pleasant temperatures and an afternoon tee time to relax the day away. Matt, my business partner/brother-in-law, and I start the round with 2 pars in a row. Our client, who probably plays to a 23 or 24 handicap, is struggling, but making the best of free golf. As we set up to tee off on the 3rd hole, there is water about 50 yards in front of us and to the left. The fairway is more to the right, so a little over the water shot is the right line. Matt tee's off first, hitting a beauty into the center cut, I miss-hit one, not too bad that goes to the right side of the fairway. Then our client sets up his shot. He swings and there is a helicopter-like sound as his club rotates freely from his grip, sailing through the air, passing his ball, and lands about 4 feet from the water.

Our client stands in amazement, serious faced, and indicates that the grips on his clubs were gifts from his "@$%@$# Brother-in-law" and he is going to have to give him a call to ask him about those grips as soon as the round is over. As Matt turns from retrieving the clients club, his face is contorted in a way as to make it look like he is passing a watermelon, and it gives me pause for a moment until I realize he is doing all he can NOT to laugh out loud at this wonderful, dear man.

We can all see the humor in our own actions from time to time. Just don't look for it on the golf course.